So what's been going on recently? News has broken out everywhere about what happened at Rutgers recently. There are news trucks at every corner of campus. I saw 3 when I got off the bus after class, two of which is captured here. I also saw an anchor holding a mic tagged Omaha.. as in... Omaha, Nebraska the other morning... @_@
   

Anyway, I don't think I need to reiterate this story again. I've read so many accounts of what happened from so many news sites that I'm sure the future me will be able to recall very vividly what happened. -Actually, i'm just starting to get really annoyed by the crazy media coverage. It's ridiculous how many writers are writing about this story, and twisting it and blowing it up into something demonic before any real police report has been filed. Not to say that what the alleged people did was not heinous and sick, but it seems to me that everyone is jumping on the bandwagon of hate before they think anything through. What is there to think through? One life has ended before this story began, but the fire and angst of the media rolling down like a growing snowball of groupthink is about to ruin two more lives because of its exaggerations. How is the jury going to stay neutral to these two kids when all organizations, news channels and vocal commentators are feeding them their own inputs? What happened to justice in the court of law? What happened to "innocent until proven guilty"? The preservation of a person's rights have already been tainted by the media. All over campus, LGBT orgs are putting on demonstrations. Yes, this story does include intolerance of homosexuals as a facet, but it really seems to me that many are now using this story to benefit their own causes. The truth of the matter is, two students acted on VERY bad judgement and thought it would be funny to broadcast someone else having homosexual sex without permission. Unbeknownst to them, they didn't know it was so effective and hurtful to the boy that he would actually commit suicide. Tell that to anyone playing a joke on someone else and you'd get a scoff of disbelief. After all, what sane person would seriously consider killing him/herself....ever? To me, it seems like a very plausible childish bullying mistake anyone can make. Thinking back to what I was like at 18, what anyone was like at 18, reality and the laws of the land seemed worlds away, especially when you grow up in Plainsboro, or Princeton, both of which are places I have lived. Nobody does anything substantial, nobody has drama in their lives. These two townships are quiet neighborhoods that simply breed security. You can't imagine ever doing something severe enough to be in trouble because it's just such a foreign concept. The idea of the self being capable of REALLY running into the law doesn't seem to develop until a few years down the road when you've gotten some experiences actually INTERACTING with the real world. 

They're 18 years old, straight out of high school; a good, competitive high school in a rich, well off environment at that. Most of the time, they were probably stuck inside studying for their SATs and APs and exams. Their downfall was that they took the freedom that was given to them during freshmen year a little TOO freely. I've been there, I've seen the stupid crazy things kids in my dorm did. I see where they're coming from. Most of the things they do are just for kicks to please others or gain favor from their peers. It's not a shortcoming of society, it's not the shortcomings of their parents or their schools. It's natural to do stupid shit when they're young, especially when they don't see the gravity of their mistakes and how they effect others. Only this time, it turned out awfully wrong. The average person is never actually out calculating and trying to maliciously hurt someone for the hell of it, and I'm so sick of the many parents and adults and bloggers trying to say that these two kids should rot in jail or be sent to prison for life when they were no angels themselves. People are mean to each other on a daily basis, but they never really mean to do permanent damage. We're just too imperfect to realize the repercussions that could unfold from our actions. It's a fact of life. If anyone who was bullied or insulted in some way or another committed suicide as a response, shouldn't we all just rot in jail and receive hateful judgements and invectives from others? We've all trespassed unto others and have had others trespass against us. But most of us cope, find an outlet, deal with it and move on. At least.. it's the normal expectation... 

Those who want to brand these two kids as "malicious murderers" and want them rotting in jail for a horrible prank that spun way out of their control are just as naive as the perpetrators themselves. Like I said... one life has been ended, and two lives have been dramatically changed for the worse. Which party has the more severe punishment? The one who took his own life, or the two who will live for the rest of their lives judged by society and burdened with regret and guilt from the one who took his? What they did was wrong, and they should be punished. But for the media from all over the US to put such a scorching light on these two kids when things like this are probably also happening in their own neighborhoods is just unfair and at the very least, opportunistic. If you aren't reporting in a neutral, fair and judicial way, then shut up and leave campus; let the grieving people involved grieve on their own in peace.       

Wrapping up my junior year of college...

This year has been effing crazy. I think I have learned a lot about myself this year than in all the years past.


It's insane how 3 years can change a person, especially in college, when you're really on your own to figure things out for yourself. Not only do you feel out your brain capacity and your studying habits, extending that to real life, nobody's protecting you and trying to keep you away from things that could hurt you, nobody's trying to push you to do anything, or judge you for not doing anything. It's all there for you, yourself to figure out. I love it. And I have certainly made quite a few mistakes this year in terms of figuring out what i want and what i don't want, and how to express that, taking into account my own weaknesses and inabilities to say no, including mustering up enough courage to say the things that i know others won't want to hear but is necessary. I can definitely say if i went back through time, i wouldn't change what i have gained now for anything. I'm certainly glad that i have come to know what is best for me in the end.

And while all this improvement is happening, I still realize i have so much to improve upon. I'm a spoiled brat. I'm lazy, and i'm used to being taken care of. Certainly, these qualities must be worked on, and especially in interacting with others, I need to try to be more considerate. Taking this to a more nerdy approach... the more science and medicine i learn, the more it awes me, and the more i realize just how little i know about anything. It's paradoxical, and it's absolutely humbling. So humbling that sometimes, I can't imagine how it could have all happened without God. They say science and religion don't mix...but for me, the more science i learn, the more i believe in God...

Speaking of God... He has sent many people into and out of my life this year... Certainly, I had my share of drama... i mean.. how strong of a message does a guy send when he deliberately goes through the trouble of defriending you on facebook? That's besides the point. I've befriended many wonderful people, girls and guys, and have grown closer to some and drifted further from others. Overall.. I'm SO grateful this year's experiences. I met somebody this year who has shown me that it is possible to NOT be socially awkward with guys, and that it is possible for guys and girls to be comfortable with each other in their own skins.

I met someone who showed me a lot this semester.... who is now to me, like an oasis in the desert.

Oh, and i certainly can't forget: I have a new baby nephew! He was born in March, and I will be going to go see him this summer!

Have you ever driven at 3 am in the morning alone in your car with a huge thick fog hovering over you that turns the outside of your windows into thick beads of water that can't be fixed with anything but windsheilds while you snake through a single laned, pitch black road in the woods with not a single car or life form in sight?